WHELM - Wife - 2008
Let me take you back to 2008. When I had “When I Grow Up” by The Pussycat Dolls, “Put On” by Jeezy and “Llamado de Emergencia” by Daddy Yankee blasting in my room on repeat. What a mix and a time to be alive. I remember when I found out that Daddy Yankee was married and the heartbreak I felt. Don’t fret. He wasn’t my first celebrity crush heartbreak. I’ll never forget the day when I was about five or six watching Ricky Martin perform live on tv and instantly falling in love. I don’t remember my exact words but whatever they were, my Nan instantly broke the news to me that I would never have a chance with him.
I have always been a hopeless romantic. I strongly believe in soulmates. There is no way this world was created for us to not have one. I don’t even mean just romantically. I believe soulmates come in different forms throughout life.
Growing up, I wrote in many diaries about how I wanted to meet my prince charming. A kind person that loved me for my weird self. I never had a lot of non-celebrity crushes. I really can only recall two before I met my husband. I remember my mom buying me thick wedge heels to wear to sixth grade because I wanted to impress a middle schooler (I think I told her I needed them specifically for something, who knows what), of course the heels only lasted a couple hours and he never noticed. I crushed hard on Usher and Zac Efron. To the point where Usher had a girlfriend and I was beyond heartbroken that when “Lovers and Friends” would play, my best friend Brianna would turn down the part where they sang his name. I wrote a letter to Zac Efron confessing my love for him and thank the universe it was sent back to me reading “INVALID ADDRESS.” I don’t know if it was my daddy issues or what but as a child, I longed for a man’s love.
I will never forget the day my mom told me I was going to a private school. A catholic private school at that. I was used to switching schools regularly. Throughout my school life I went to seven different schools before college. But going to a catholic private school for middle school was not on my agenda. I did not fit in. The girls were mean. Everyone already had their cliques since they all knew each other. I don’t know to this day what came over me to join the cheerleading team. I never was athletic, I danced for a few years prior which I miss tremendously, but never did a damn cartwheel or somersault before. The girls were still mean. I was made fun of for trying to learn how to cartwheel. I didn’t feel pretty enough. I was made fun of for my big nose and crooked teeth (thanks genetics and not being able to afford braces until I got my first job).
This is where I met my husband, Emilio. In seventh grade. The year of 2008. Every girl at that school had a crush on him (eyeroll). As if the girls there already didn’t like me, they REALLY didn’t like me once him and I started talking. We met during gym class. I have never been so shy around someone before him. His smile light up my whole being. He was also shy, kind, and softspoken, and we connected instantly. He was and still is my very best friend. Back then we called dating “going out.” He asked me after a week of us talking nonstop if I wanted to “go out” with him. Take that bullies! Now I know you’re probably thinking “at only twelve years old!?” As a mother I think “Oh HELLLLL NO!” My daughter is not allowed to date until she is well over fifty. But in our defense, we were more like best friends for a long time. I wouldn’t hold his hand for a while, and we didn’t have our first kiss until months after going out. I remember in our English class you can write the teacher little notes about anything, and someone had the audacity to write that Emilio and I made out constantly. PLEASE. That wasn’t until the following year, thank you very much. Also, we were in a “holy” environment. I wouldn’t make out in the home of the good lord and savior.
Then came high school. Such fun times (NOT). Like I said, I hated school and high school wasn’t any better. My mom sent me to a high school in a different school district where the girls were even more mean and cliquey. I was made fun of for wearing Aeropostale while everyone else was wearing Abercrombie and Hollister. There was no shame in my game going into Aeropostale and shopping the clearance section and wearing knockoff UGG boots. Most of the students there were white, and I would hear racism remarks daily. Emilio went to another high school in our hometown, and I BEGGED my mom to let me transfer there. I think the countless days of me crying and skipping school eventually convinced her.
Immediately after transferring, I felt so much comfort in my new environment. Most of the students were Hispanic and Black and I blended right in. My lunch time was different than Emilio’s, but I easily made a few good friends. Unfortunately, they were seniors my freshman year, but I have them as friends on Facebook and love seeing how they’ve flourished in life.
Emilio & I had our fair share of ups and downs during high school. We broke up the summer going into our sophomore year, and it was rough for the both of us. Looking back, we needed that time away from each other. It made us stronger as individuals and when we ended up back together a little after sophomore year, we were closer than ever.
I look back on us as children, teens, and young adults and can’t help but to get emotional. Emilio came into my life when I was young and for a reason. He saved young Marisa and the troubling thoughts that ran through my mind before him. We grew up together and without him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I have him to thank for so much greatness in my life. My prince charming. My husband. My baby daddy. I manifested him and the universe gave me the perfect soulmate.
WHELM- Wife, Human, Entrepreneur, Latina, Mother
Human blog will be up tomorrow, 9/13 at Noon EST!