WHELM - Wife - A Little More Adobo
Emilio and I moved to Columbus, Ohio in 2015. He was accepted into OSU and I enrolled in the community college out here. Campus living was crappy but he was my home along with our dog Bentley so as long as I had my boys, I was happy. We worked our asses off to pay rent and eat. Emilio put me in shock when he proposed in 2017. He surprised me with a trip to Florida for our anniversary, and I had no clue he was going to propose then. Mostly because we talked about getting engaged and married once we both were settled in our careers, and we didn’t have much money at all for a wedding. He worked triple time to save up money for a ring and for the trip to Florida.
We married in 2018. We decided to do a destination wedding and I will never regret that decision. We had only close family and friends there and it was intimate and beautiful. We had a wedding on a budget, but it was everything I could have ever dreamt of. We could’ve married anywhere, and it would’ve been perfect, as long as I was marrying him. I never thought of having a huge wedding filled with people I only see once a year if that. We wanted to have a wedding where we could vacation afterwards and enjoy the alone time.
They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and they are correct. At least for us. We still were struggling financially, I was pregnant, we had no idea what careers we wanted, and both of us were beyond stressed out. I was trying to figure out how to be a wife. Like do I add a little more adobo than I did when I was a girlfriend? Do I iron his socks?
Emilio was so stressed out mentally and I didn’t know how to fully be there for him. I was the one working and experiencing so many changes in my pregnant body. I wasn’t great mentally either, but I wanted and needed to be strong for him because he always was for me. He studied pre-med but switched to business and wanted to do something along the lines of real estate. Again, I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and for some reason one day, I told Emilio he should reach out to our first landlord, we’ll call him Stan in the blog, when we moved to Columbus. Long story short, he did, and it was right at the time Stan was branching off to start his own real estate business. He brought Emilio on and now he is at the top in the company. Crazy how life works and how a simple idea can really change your life. I’ve never been one scared to reach out to someone random through email or social media. I always thought and told Emilio, “What’s the worst they can say? They shit just like us.”
After we went through that hard time, I realized what being a wife was and is. Very similar to being a girlfriend, just now we’re older and I have that bling bling on my left finger. But in all seriousness, it’s being your spouse’s strength when they can’t be. It’s about having their back 10000% and always listening to what they have to say. Being there for them when something is bothering them. Helping them, loving them, understanding them. Being their best and most true friend aside from their lover. Emilio is my best friend. I tell him everything. He tells me everything. We are comfortable telling each other anything even if it makes the other person feel some way. When one of us is in the wrong about something, we aren’t afraid to tell it like it is. A healthy marriage takes work, every day. We always ask the other person how we’re doing mentally. He knows when I’m down just like I know when he is. He is my person and if you haven’t found yours yet, and you’re dwelling on it, know they will come. If you have your person, make sure you both prioritize each other’s mental health. Life is hard and crazy, and we all deserve to feel every single feeling there is.
WHELM- Wife, Human, Entrepreneur, Latina, Mother
Human blog will be up on, 10/4 at Noon EST! We've been busy preparing for something exciting :) & getting body butters ready for the fall/winter time!